Family Holiday On Board Costa Victoria Cruise (Behind The Scene)

It was back in late August during the travel fair when we took courage to book a family package of 4 on a 3N 4D cruise on board an Italian Costa Victoria ship.  This attempt, at least enable the family to look forward to some activities we can bond together and relax after the school term had ended, especially for our elder kid but my wife & I know very well that it may not be the same feeling for him who may be anxious about this new experience of change environment and new people in our world due to his autistic traits, we were skeptical but remain hopeful that things are going to be alright.

As the week drew nearer, I started to share with him some video clips on the Costa Cruise and the various places we can explore to enjoy on board.  He does not feel excited from his expression after watching the video but goes back to his current interest of watching the other video on lift/elevator instead, he does not show any rejection to the idea either, we were all ready in great anticipation for the moment to arrive.

Soon we were 2 days away from the cruise of our life, the first ever for all of us in the family. I created a social story to share and let him read it through.  After reading, he suddenly told us that he does not want to go, probably he knew by then that the date is close with reference to the date he read the social story, the challenge is inevitable, we will have to face head on, and see how it went then.

True enough, on the morning of the cruise when he woke up, he was still bother by the cruise adventure, he told us it was difficult and cry, and the more normal we try to relate about the cruise, the more he saps into de-motivation mode. We were contemplating to explore alternate plan but still hopeful that if we calm down and let him cool off a little and give him time to self dialogue what he feels to be motivated for the cruise, he may be looking forward to it. As he was taking breakfast, he started to say it out, I quickly took opportunity to write it down beside the social stories in point form on the white board, and put a Y to signify Yes, CAN! Soon as he says more of what he perceives/wants about the cruise and get more Y, he became much more at ease, especially after he knew that we are at deck 8 cabin and will be taking lift up/down and that swimming pool at deck 11 etc..as shown in picture I drew for him, he burst into smile. He also pointed to a picture of a lift lobby overview in the social story and shared with us that he wanted to take lift in the cruise, guess that is one of his motivation. We then go with the flow to involve him in packing his toys(blocks, car, gates which he use to pretend to be lift), digital gadgets(iphone, ipad), an aeroplane chess and also down load a youtube video on a lift he like to watch at a metro tower), put in the name tag for his back pack and viola! The next thing, he suddenly ask, can we go cruise now?  This finally brings smile to all of us like striking a bingo!  I were expecting more challenges to be unfold as we prepared and geared ourselves to face each of his enemies as the days develop.

While we were ready to take a taxi to Marina Cruise terminal, our little STAR prefer to take MRT instead, to Marina bay and worst still, he insisted that his sister to go with him and mummy, so I myself took a taxi and wait for them outside the MRT station before we all head towards ICT.  The checking into the cruise was smooth and present.  On board, we had our first taste of the food for tea time, before participated a master drill for the guest at 6pm.  Dinner was served at Italian restuarant right after 6.30pm, glad to make friends with another family of four, Kenneth, Aina and their 2 lovely kids who were on the same table with us.  Shared with them a bit on our journey with our son in this path less travelled. At night, we will stay in cabin to play the aeroplane chess with him , our little Star was so happy that he requested to sleep on top of the double decker bed, he told us he likes to sleep on tree house, we let him after ensure safety measure in place.

There were many interesting places we explored such as the swimming/bubble pool and the restuarant we had for our breakfast, lunch and tea break, internet cafe.  Our cabin was located near the lift leading to some of the places yet our little Star will prefer the one with the open window bubble lift even he has to walk a longer distant to reach the destination.  I supported and accept this little request but thankful that he still able to be re-directed on few occasions.  We enjoyed eating, walking around, swimming and sitting the lift up and down with him.  Sometimes he will wonder off to lift lobby after he finished his meal while we are still eating, either my Mrs or me will take turns to manage. We also get him to choose a post card selling on board while in port Klang, wrote some words of wishes to his teacher and post out from there before heading for dinner to close our 2nd day activities on cruise.

On the 3rd day, the cruise had reached open sea near Malacca.  We had our usual breakfast routine and had plans to go on shore to have some site visit and walk around. He was still Ok when we went up the pump boat but soon saps into anxiety as the boat leave the cruise further away, he started to escalate and we were trying to calm him down, he told us he wants to get back to the cruise and not wanting to go on shore.  An auntie in front turn back trying to console him the normal way but got worse as his escalation went north further, I shared with her that he has a special needs and was anxious about leaving the cruise which he feels so comfortable and predictable after first day on board.  Luckily, Kenneth who was on the same boat with us, came to try talk things out with him, this time with more assurance tone and encouragement by attuning to his perspective and special thinking, which prevented him from almost melting down.  Once we reach on shore, we became the fastest guest to turn around as we took the next boat back to cruise.  We know this may not be welcome by his sister who has to bear with this fustration of living between our world and his world..

But we have to accept this situation as normal and be prepared to do whatever it takes to turn things around to bring back his joy & our happiness by embracing his little imperfection.  Back in cruise, he was once again a happy boy with his usual great smile, we spend time between cabin, swimming pool, tea break and internet cafe.  When in public, he will talk at volume 4 or 5 at times where ever he goes, we try to model him what is like to talk in volume 2-3, he may follow at first but later will goes into his volume 4-5 again. It seems to us that in his world he is only by himself and nobody else as he care less on emotion and feeling of others.  In his world, whatever he perceives as his happiness, other people around has got to be happy as well, which very often make others who may not understand him difficult to interact with him or easily misunderstood by his wierd behavior.

We had our last dinner in the same Italian restuarant since we went on board and  taken valuable photos with the family for the friendship we had made in this cruise, thankful to Kenneth & his family for their understanding, support where it truly matters and make our first cruise journey worth while and memorable.  There were some party atmosphere created by the staff of the restuarant, dancing and singing.

After dinner, I went for my ME time to catch a 45mins show in paying tribute to Michael Jackson, the impersonator sang and danced like MJ, real awesome & enjoyed it very much. Little Star and mummy went back to cabin to have an early rest for the day while sister checked into the internet cafe for her own ME time as well before I merry up with her.

The cruise arrived back at Marina cruise Center at about 8am, we had our last breakfast and after settled the miscellaneous bill, we were ready to check out the cruise and home sweet home.  It was a great experience and learning journey for us and our little STAR.  We know he CAN if we believe and create every opportunities to include him and embrace his CAN!

Winner's Statement:-