Our Own Experience
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My little STAR was diagnosed and confirmed back in July 2008.
While waiting for diagnosis results from child pschologist, we searched through and understand via internet websites what Autism is all about, check with a friend who is also parent of a child with ASD to understand their initial journey, seek strength and inspiration to ready for acceptance, adaptation to embrace some changes in this life long learning journey.
First year as young parents, read quite a bit about Autism until now, attend workshop related to various aspect of growing & walking with my Little STAR. DIY PECS, visual rules, work system, choice making, first-then schedule, task analysis, plenty of hypothesis and trial on learning & challenging behaviors. Taken many photos & share quite a bit with teachers on some home programs or engagement activities for continuous progress in collaboration at EIP.
As parents of child with ASD, the demand in attention is at least 10X that of neuro-typical kids in walking this special journey of learning, we need to read others material to strengthen your thoughts for more postive & purposeful life, knowing that we have to Love the child unconditionally, without fear and most important of all without getting tire. 3 Es needed are Enthusiasm, Excitement and Energy, 3 Ps to supplement are Patience, Passion & Persistence. We must self-empowered to be a strong believer in the principle of behavior that things always get difficult before they become easy and not before we inject them with effort of 3Es & 3 Ps. Take each day as a new learning journey to explore & look for opportunities to grow & progress in baby steps, always tell the child "I love you".
Take this blessing to consolidate some advices from parents who are also walking in this journey of Autism:-
-Just breathe. And read, read, read. Educate your self because it will be the best way to know what to do for your child
-It may seem like the end of the world right now, but it's not. It's going to be a challenge, but every achievement and milestone will be a victory. Don't lose hope. It does get better, and early intervention is key.
-Acceptance is vital. then get that sweet child of yours as much education as possible, meaning ot,st, socialization...etc. they learn and retain so much!! try to be positive, even when "autism" gets the best of you. Remember, that you are not alone.
-When we were first diagnosed a neighbor with a special needs child said don't think a year, 5 years or ten yearsdown the road. Focus on what is the right thing for your child right now. Those words stay with me all the time
-Don't blame yourself. And do not let yourself get in the dumps. Don't isolate yourself, either. Don't let yourself see the situation as hopeless. And always remember you are your child's best advocate. Don't be afraid to make yourself heard on their behalf. Celebrate each milestone, no matter how delayed it is. Celebrate each achievement they make, no matter how small. Tell them you are proud of them. It's ok to cry. Find someone you can talk to when the going gets rough. Always tell your child you love them.
-Patience, and continuity always follow thru what you start, and never give in because you feel bad. What you do now will effect your child as an adult if they don't learn the skill from you, they will be unhappy adults. So take each day as it comes and never give up
-I think the best advice is don't give advice! Just be there and keep showing up, showing your love, sharing your lives. That's what helped us the most, those who didn't offer advice but just stayed here in our lives, living and showing us what works for them and what it means to be them.
Hope it helps, Hope for Everything & Give off Your Best! I am also learning along as I shared.
Appreciating your life right now is as important as going for your goals.
Winner's Statement:-
The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.~ Woody Allen
Mr. Tan,
ReplyDeleteI really salute you and your family for taking things one thing at a time, with an understanding that the world doesn't revolve around us only.
The congress has taught me so many things and personally I will need the processing time to digest all the information.
but I must say, what you shared here is very much in line with what I have heard and take home.
This is a very insightful post.
sidenote: do also note that your daughter will need the attention , love and care. she's a beautiful girl. =)
Eileen
Hi,
ReplyDeleteI chanced upon your blog when I am searching social stories for my son.
Kudos to you for creating this wonderful blog sharing your love, experience and advice. When I read on the effect on family, it got me ponder a lot....
ML