December Random Happiness

While most of the children tends to enjoys the December in the form of school holiday breaks from study, learning for my little STAR continues throughout the holidays, nevertheless, he still enjoying his holidays in a different perspective with some play as well in the midst.

The WII Game Console that I bought for his sister had also benefitted our little STAR, he has got to learn quite a few sport games from the WII Sport/(Resort) that we have brought in as well and even know how to manipulate the control & nanchuk. At first, we are sceptical about his interest in playing, but after watching few rounds of play, he soon starts to show some interest playing table tennis, bowling, cycling, archery, tennis, sword play and boxing. From the game that he learnt, he had requested his mum to buy actual bowling toys. Coincidentally, we also have tennis racket, table tennis bat and also bought a toy archery set (from Far & Near Sport), where he can generalize and improve his pretend play. I am delighted to see his potential in racket game like tennis, table tennis, but the most motivated game for him is still the bowling.
Every weekend, is continuous improvement in progress by means of home program engagement with ur little STAR whether it is writing skill, numeric, speech or literacy. He has come along well and emerging partner communicator, he says lot more words and extend longer sentences now. Therapist & us were amazed by how much he has openned up in his speech recently, he is able to read script/social story after few runs with him. he now even is able to recite the SGP pledge which I am so proud & take great joy of his little achievement. He is also commenting lot more nowadays.

December will always be a month of thanksgiving, joy and celebration for the children especially when the Christmas spirit spread with songs, cakes and presents exchange. Like last year, it was another occasion where our 3 generation of Tan family congregate at my place for reunion prior to CNY. The children had a great time, so were the joy from the adults in seeing them having a great time together.

All that is special about my little STAR is not in itself awful, although some components of it most certainly are, and some days will be infinitely more dreadful than others. But ultimately, what we choose to believe about his special ability may be the single biggest factor affecting his final outcome. We have a choice and a processor of superpower: perspective. Consciously or otherwise, we make decisions based on our choosen perspective hundreds of times a day. And I firmly believe that in choosing to work towards changing an unproductive perspective is wildly courageous, empowering and doable just like walking through a normal life to optimize success.

My little STAR does has his quiet time if we are patience enough to observe.















Winners Statements:

"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence."

"... And one important key to self-confidence is preparation."

‎" The road to success is not straight. There is a curve called Failure, a loop called Confusion, speed bumps called Friends, red lights called Enemies, caution lights called Family; you will have flats called Jobs. But, if you have a spare called Determination, an engine called Perseverance, insurance called Faith, a driver called Patience, you will make it to a place called Success."

Our little STAR is truely being blessed to have come this far in his special learning journey and we now look forward to working with his SpEd team for another fruitful and blessed 2011.

Special Walk 2010- Reflection, Gratitude, Perspective, Vision & Choices

If I said that 2009 early learning journey was overwhelming but rewarding being a young parents of a child with ASD back then, 2010 was as challenging and adventurous, end results are still very much rewarding and we are stronger and gain more understanding towards our little STAR, Fabian and other children in this special community.

Fabian began 2010 with a positive outlook in a group setting of 4 children which was further enlarge to 6 after mid year, new skill were learned such as check schedule in transition from one focus area to another, table activities, direct teaching 1-2 and most important of all emerging social skill of looking at peers, seeking out adults/teachers for help in asking or sharing. Plus many others worth while curriculum which have created positive impact to the children's foundation toward their future independence.

Some behavior & learning challenge unfold and sensory modulation concern were discussed and address collectively along the way from sensory processing aspect as well from ABA stand points. It is very true as I read from a book about Autism that one of the things that parents learned was that on some days, the only unpredictable thing about it is the unpredictability; the only consistent attribute - the inconsistency. The child who lives with autism may look "normal", but his behavior can be perplexing and down right difficult especially as no 2 children within the spectrum will be similar. We will have to be resilience at all time in our persistence, perseverence and passion walking with Fabian without getting tire, trying and hoping for some workable strategies to over come his special needs or if we may redirect them to the positives - would mean his "special abilities". The last EIP session for the year I attended on 12 Nov, participated and witnessed was another great testimony that all your worth while effort had paid off as I saw children completing each routine in trying to generalize their skill learn from past 4 terms, kudos to all the teachers in EIP.

Fabian has been blessed to have come thus far and taken by SpEd Team who have been very supportive, professional & instrumental to his development and progress along the goals and objectives set in IEP which includes not just the EIP teachers alone, but also the various therapists in Occupational/Speech&Literacy/Special Educator who covers Numeric/Writing & Drawing not forgetting Music teachers in Kindermusiz he had attended, who each plays a critical role trying to link the various functions or executive meaningfully together for a positive connection/outcome to Fabian learning.

This year, we had tried offer more opportunities to elevate Fabian learning & also engaged various other professionals to compliment his main core curriculum in EIP.

In March, we manage to successfully enrolled him to MMI Child Care center near our neighbourhood, main emphasis is to let Fabian generalize his learning from ARC in a normal environment with neuro-typical kids, he started off at K1 though. No major compliants from teachers until this far as they are quite understanding on Fabian learning ability, worksheets teacher gives him are often 1 level down to align with his academic skill though.

In May, Fabian started his Speech & Literacy Therapy with Aidan Rush, which subsequently follow by Numeric & also Writing and Drawing skill development within the same center to elevate his academic learning. We are very glad that Fabian is enjoying his learning & so far feedback has been positive in his progress made over the past 4-7 months and also from what we have observed in our daily walk with him.

This year, Fabian had also completed 2 Kindermusic sessions of 4 months each in "Our Time" during H1 2010 & 2nd theme "Imagine That" which just concluded recently.

His sound therapy under Samona is currently into 4th cycle at Disc 4/5. We will be buying 2 more new disc to improve other aspects of sensory integration & attention in learning.

Fabian will be taking his IQ test next April and we are all very excited about it, I had read up WPPSI-III to understand more and alert all in Fabian SpEd Team to maximize his learning to ready and optimize his outcome. After talking and discussing with each therapists, I am confidence that each will discharge their worth while effort out of sense of mission and duties for the betterment of Fabian's IQ test results next year. For the next few months leading to April, my wife and I are going to sleep, eat & think about how we can do better to improve and elevate Fabian readiness and also not forgetting close collaborative effort with various service providers. I have also encouraged the SpEd team to give off their best and try to enjoy this due process, using the "so what if" perspective, we still have choices which can help our little STAR to grow in his own special way and pace. Think not for what the person cannot do but focus on what he/she can do and what one can do to make a difference & positive impact to him/her progress.

Some plan as follow:-
1) I had spoken to the MMI teacher in charge to still keep Fabian at KI for 2011, so as to let him integrate academically to peers with similar learning ability and to follow up from there in his various subject of learning.

2) We already increasing his OT from one to twice a week during this holidays until his next Kindermusiz commences in 2011 Jan/Feb, to continue focus on improving his sensory integration & motor planning, has also commenced our work with him on threading/block design and categorization grouping.

3) Verbal comprehension, general language on receptive langauage & picture naming as well as concept of opposite words will be in good hand of SLT & Therapist for education in special needs.

4) Our home programs will hence be focus & attune to his coming IQ Test as well hoping to improve and reinforcing his learning with teachers and therapists.

We are all proud of his inch stone achievement in learning and continuous progress this year, which often comes with much painstaking effort, but they are also the most memorable parts we always remember in this path less travelled together. Lately Fabian has been able to extend his sentence, saying and reciting long message from congratulation to saying thanks to teachers and lately the Singapore Pledge.

Last PCN was enriching, emotional and heart warming session with knowledge & parent sharing.

3 words I learn from the session: Teach, Practise & Praise

I rejoice together with other parents for those who little STAR have successfully transit out to their next learning journey from EIP and look forward the celebrate my little STAR next year when he too, has to take his turn.

Gratitude is the best attitude, the most pleasing exercise of the mind coming from the memory of the heart, really very thankful to each of those who have contributed & having walk with us & Fabian thus far.

Winners Statement:-

Obstacles are what people see when they lose sight of their goal. It's alright to fall. You learn when you fall. Most important, remember to stand up again.

October Moment - Random Happiness

Oct0ber has been a fruitful month for my little STAR with many joy and loving memories.

Still in his early communication stage, he is able to not only to make request for variety of things, make choices but lately able to comment and extend his sentence construction. We will try create opportunity for his turn taking during people games like chasing, playing balloon or even during meal or snack time.


Doing physical & verbal models of things he can do or say such words, phrases and short sentences from his point of view has done great help to elevate his turn taking in communication as he is able repeat what he hears. WH question that present choices and fill in the blanks are some others we try to explore.

Had made 2 more visual support for "No silly Noise" & "Quiet Hand" to reinforce his verbal stim & to regulate unnecessary hand
movement from visual stim at home, while continue to refresh & teach him on the volume thermometer, he understands better when
presented with the visual rules/cue during difficult behavior. Also his strength in imitation also make him follow better if we whisper
& model to him to reduce his vocal during our re-direction.

For no silly noise, we may add gesture to indicates that silly noise hurt our ears by cupping our ears with hand to show him the consequence. Also ready in hand some emotion icons on our hall way to teach and associate him whenever his mood reflects one of those.

Wanted to bring our little STAR to the usual Indian barber shop in our neighbourhood but unfortunately it did not open, decided to let him try the hair dressing saloon next to the shop instead. Our little STAR seemed anxious at first, but we had managed to reinforce with him and transit him in and glad that all went well. Just try to share some background information to the hair dresser about our little STAR special needs but coincidentally discover that she too, also has a friend with child in the spectrum also, getting prevalent these days, we are not alone in these special walk.


I was delighted to be able to join my wife and the little STAR for his Term 2nd outing in late Oct. It was another fruitful and enriching learning journey taking the Hippo Bus & Duck boat ride which involve every children in the EIP. It has never been easy managing the little STAR in the public as he is usually over responsive to the open environment and will run about exploring places where he desires. Glad that he still follow the day's agenda while waiting to board the Duck Boat.


The Duck Boat ride was an eye opener where it sailed us through some of the important landmark of Singapore like the Flyer, MBS IR, Floating Stage, Esplanade, our very own Merlion & the Financial District. Also manage to get a glimpse of another new landmark in the making, looks like a shape of a Shell, reminds me of Sydney Opera House, look forward to its completion.


The end of Oct also marks the completion of our little STAR 2nd Kindermusiz Theme of "Imagine That", a great 15 weeks program that make the best of music to elevate his learning in social interaction with 3-4 other children within the group, new words were learned & language in functional communication and not forgetting body parts co-ordination and movement.

We are proud of our little STAR achievement thus far, no matter what he may become, we will always rejoice in his presence and embrace his imperfection.


Take this opportunity of Halloween Night to share a statement:-


Each day as you dress, costume yourself in truth as the successful, intelligent, kind, loving, giving person that you are and be the character of your highest good. TRICK yourself out of any false beliefs you might be carrying around on fear, lack, and judgment. TREAT yourself gently and lovingly in mind, body and spirit.

Managing Behavior Challenge In Our Little STAR

Our little STAR looked quite normal in the first 1.5 years of birth, but as he grew towards 2 years old, we had noticed his delay in communication without suspecting anything amiss as some kids do learn to talk after 2 years old. It was his wierd behavior at his own agenda, with poor eye contact, lack of imagination, pretend play & social interaction that had triggered us to seek help from child behavior specialist. After he was diagnosed with ASD, we starts to learn more about the culture of Autism that every child is different & unique in their own special ways. We had also witnessed his behavior evolution until thus far.

Back in the early days of EIP, when I did the eye-berg analysis on his observable behavior, my little STAR was seen as a Sensory Seeking child, with his active, always on the move, disorganize/distructive in his play, difficulty staying still/seated, short attention span on one activity and easily distracted characteristic.

But as he progressed in his learning journey, we also noticed that he also has some characteristic of an Over-Responsive child as he prefer rigidity to changes, may have difficulties with transitions such as in Term 3-4 '09 in the new school environment or may seek certain sensations as a coping strategy like appear hyperactive running or jumping about.

While some of his other characters also resemble that of under-responsive child with his passive reaction, or appear self absorbed in his own repetitive actitivies, difficult to get attention at time and response better when given extra and sufficient sensory. Our little STAR seems to have a combination mixture of these 3 sensory modulation issues.

Tearing tissue and let it free falling down, open and closing of door, turn on/off switch, looking at spinning wheels are some things he found motivated in the early days of EIP. Due to his limited skill in functional communciation, he appear to have more melt down and temper tantrum back then. Fortunately, all these were reduce as he developed verbally from own agenda into requestor after 3 terms of EIP.

However, new behavior was observed as he starts to do simple visual stim using pencil or block. On 1 Oct '09, we finally engaged OT to help provide intervention strategies & optimize this sensory regulation.

The goal of OT for an ASD child is to optimize his sensory regulation and arousal level for learning and engagement despite the presence or absence of sensory-stimulatory behaviors. In cases where total elimination of the sensory-stimulatory behaviors is not possible, learning (cognitive, gross and fine motor, social skills, activities of daily living) can still be facilitated as being observed by OT in our little STAR case. It is also important to recognize that even for some children who have appeared to stop sensory-stimulatory behaviors, there may be occasions that would trigger the behaviors

Possible reason for visual seeking behavior, could be because he does not have sufficient visual stimulation or sensory stimulation in general (visual, auditory, proprioceptive[body position, muscle & joints], vestibular[movement], tactile[touch]). He now may even use his own hand or books to self arouse his visual sensation.

Some general calming strategies(for over-responsive child) involve increasing vestibular input such as jumpx10, spin or run few round about or eve rolling fast on the floor, so as to increase his level of arousal for attending to tasks and it will also give him some form of visual stimulation which he often seeks. Best given before the starts of program or selective routine interval. Alternatively, may apply deep pressure touch using firm touch to massage child's limb or back or give the child a bear hug.

For general alerting strategies(under-responsive), we may also choose to increase his propriocetive input via heavy work by creating activites for the child to push against the wall, pulling via tug of war using scarf or lycra cloth, crawling through tunnel to retrieve toy/object, hanging from playground equipment or even help carry heavy object like stacks of book from one table to another or wheel barrow walk. If not, may also apply oral strategies like sucking from straw and blowing toy whistle.

Feedback from OT:-

"Fabian has shown tremendous improvements since he 1st came for OT with extremely poor motor coordination, attention, engagement, articulation and understanding. He is making steady improvements every week, but he is someone who needs 1-1 attention, and lots of repetitive practice in order for his potential to be maixmized. Using the "shadow teacher" approach will greatly benefit Fabian"

Where he doesn't comply with verbal prompts from teacher, shadow teacher can then apply physical prompts like placing her hands over his hands on the table, gesture in telling him "No, stop", and continue putting her hands over his, so that he understands that this is an expected behavior. A reward system via behavior chart with token/sticker reward to motivate him on the right behavior can be effective when apply correctly with IMMEDIATE, DESIRED reinforcements, and a system of fading needs to be in place.

"Thank you for the prompt feedback and your invaluable help in assisting Fabian through this challenging time. Fabian has been progressing well througout the past year with a significant reduction in self-stimulatory behavior (visual and verbal) during OT and Kindermusik group session. However, there has been an unexplainable increase during the last 3 weeks sicne Term 4 starts. I am also concerned as this has caused him to have poorer sustained attention and engagement in both individual and group OT sessions. An increase in self-stimulatory behaviors is common in ASD children during periods of boredom, insufficient sensory stimulation, stress, changes in routine, changes in diet and medication, and illness (as discussed during last Thursday's meeting). It is important to find out the primary reason in order to tackle the issue of increased self-stimulatory behaviors. As he is still coughing and on medication, we will have to wait till he is fully recovered so that we can re-look at possible causes. "

It is true that my little STAR is still on medication for his cough as of writing even though his frequency has reduced but still hope to clear his phlegm

Recently, my little STAR also tend to speak at high tone or volume not ony at home but in public places, he does seem to care less about his surrounding envronment and will not even pay attention to people staring at him. To help him, I had also constructed a volume thermometer to train him to associate each level with a description that he can understand or we can relate to him when situation arises:-

In managing my little STAR with ASD, I have learn & will continue to learn & manage 2 things that could bring hope to his future success and independence: Understanding his needs & Strategies through the various professionals within his Special Education Team.

lways telling my HEART to CELEBRATE my child's progress! LOVE who they are today, not who I'd like them to be.

I love my son for who he is in his own special way but I also hate how much it forces him to struggle so much in several aspects of his life. Nevertheless, in resilience, hope is what we have in showing Autism we have 10 times more reason to smile everytime it give us a reason to cry.

Winners Statement:-

"Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained." ~ Arthur Somers Roche

September Moment - Random Happiness

The family had a great time during the September school holidays shopping & eating in JB City Sq, Tebrau City & also spending a good 1 night stay at in-laws place in Permas Jaya. Always enjoy shopping and eating across the causeway once in a while and most of all the great hospitality extended to us by the in-laws.

Term 4 begins the last lap of 10 weeks to close the year of great learning journey for 2010, the theme Transport bring much excitment to the kids as they get to visit the Changi Airport for their first outing on the 2nd week. It was another successful outing altogether, though my little STAR had to cope with some surprise which can be challenging to him:- One happened when the MRT came but the "Do not board sign" came off and left again, he starts to get upset. Another incident took place during snack time in Burger King. My little STAR had requested to eat burger but cannot finish in time while the teacher transit the group for the next program to take the sky train. Again he is upset that he was not allowed to eat while sitting the sky train. Luckily he only limited to crying but enough to attract attention from others.

September also marks the birth month for our little STAR and this year is a special inch stone as he turn 5 years old. It was another weekend of eating, circle time with our immediate family.

We had lunch together near my sister place, held his cake cutting at her place before proceed to Science Center. Another memorable experience for all!

We had constructed 2 sorting exercise for his independent work, he has since practising well and able to categorize them consistently among animal/transport/cutlery/ball/shape/transport, we will remove the pictures and leave the word of each category behind to make him recognize the spelling as he recall the sorting again. The month close with the celebration of Children Day, and our little STAR was delighted to receive gift of token and blessing from his teachers and enjoying playing them.

There are some emerging behavior challenge as our little STAR grows and learn, had shared with his OT and also feedback to EIP Tr for mutual learning in collaboration. Hope is all we have with some action put in place to re-direct and manage them collectively.

Winners Statement:-

"It is important to expect nothing, to take every experience, including the negative ones, as merely steps on the path, and to proceed." ~Ram Dass

E Time Sharing & Learning Updates Of My Little STAR

It has been quite a while since I last posted a blog for my little STAR, I have been quite busy lately at work but this special walk and advocate for my little STAR on his learning journey never stop for a moment, it is 24/7 with the help and support of my Mrs.

His Term 3 has just ended and was an eventful 10 weeks for him and all other childrens in school getting to appreciate Animals. They got to enjoy 2 outings for the first times in a term with visit to Singapore Zoo & Kids kampong Animal farm, offering an opportunity to promote interest to the kids on different types of animals, understand on its whole & parts, sound and action as well as learn some of the vocabulary associated with the Animal Theme. Kudos to all the EIP Teachers for doing such a great job and create positive impact to the children in this special communities


We are very happy for our Little STAR to have come this far in his learning journey and what is important he still enjoying every bit of it, he is our pride and joy. His weakest link has always been due to his lack in proper sensory integration and hence we have engaged more to elevate his learning via sensory approach to compliment his main core of learning at EIP. His weakness in Art & Craft has always been a challenge and we are determined to improve him by working with his special educator on his foundation for writing and drawing skill development to compensate this lack. Hand-eye co-ordination, line/curve tracking, visual and finger co-ordination & colouring within boundary are some integral part of this fine motor learning. We hope to see some frutiful results in Term 4.


Before end of term, our little STAR also has the previledge to take his blesing in giving thank you card to his teachers and others which I shared via email in appreciation via video msg from my little STAR, we are indeed very fortunate to have a special education team which are working and creating positive impact to Fabian & other children in continuous progress.

His ST has been doing great with more resources provided in variation to elevate his expressive language in sentence construction and working on different pictures comprehension to cover more of the 12 aspect of learning mentioned in my early post. Some of the concept development provided for such as "Bubble", "Water", "Slide", "Ice-cream", "Apple & Banana are also useful for him to understand and generalize the concept with Yes/No and also Wh & How questions after that.

On the literacy front, he has learnt new song "Little Peter Rabbit", also been work on quiet reading & story telling, with "look & listen" 2-part instruction, form sentence relate to what, colour, function,action and feeling, what he love to do & why etc..?

For numeric, using 2 parts instruction look & listen to introduce ordinal number of 1st, 2nd, 3rd to 6th, concept of more, less, fewer & many. Continue with money value 10, 20, 30 cts. Doing addition worksheet within 10, writing homework fr 1-50, problem solving using "How many altogether". Time telling in half hour interval.

He is enjoying his kindermusiz as well, learning to listen & follow, imitate action, socialize and doing co-ordination work on passing object like egg shaker with music(ie take from one hand & transfer to the other hand before pass to his peer next to him, with slow and fast passing in variation), improve his body joint co-ordination such as tip toe or walk on heel which he has greatly benefitted.


He is currently in his 3 cycles of disc 5 week 1 on the sound therapy.

My Mrs & I had attended the PCN for end of term just few hours back and found the session very enriching & fun especially the warm up team building game, inputs were shared for mutual acknowledgement and all parents naturally understand how each parents like us are feeling: some days hope is what we need, other days hope is what we have, we must continue to walk on this life long journey with love, and love without fear. Every challenges there is always a solution, it is how we think and act positively that matter.


Look forward to new Term 4 and also to make thing happen and possible for my little Star on first day of Term opening to ready next year challenge.


Winners Statement:-



Any activity becomes creative when the doer cares about doing it right, or doing it better'' (John Updike)

Term 3 Outing 2(30 Jul) & Learning Update On Fabian

I was praying for good weather due to recent adverse climate that had caused flood & several trees to fall, nevetheless the down pour did come on the day of the outing to Kids Kampong but never fail to dampen the spirits of the teachers, parents and the many little STARs of the day, the outing went on. This is second outing experiences over a short period of time within a Term for our little STAR, I always feel excited as usual for the kids, but unfortunately have to give the trip another miss due to heavy work commitment. I was happy and thankful to learn that the trip to Kids Kampong was another success despite the rain and that the kids were having a great times while following the schedules provided to their visual support.

My wife related to me a challenge while waiting for the bus to pick them up to destination:- apparently Fabian wanted to board the bus which he saw and thinking that his bus had arrived, but was actually the second bus which was late, he got a little anxious. Fortunately, my wife & teachers were able to calm him down & redirect him to wait with verbal prompt which would otherwise lead to melt down.

Our family had been to fish farm before but has never visit an animal farm, it was really a new experience for Fabian & mummy where he got to see various animals unlike in the zoo, that are normally found in the Kampong in the 60s or 70s during the era of both my parents time. Raincoats were provided for everyone and I was glad to learn that Fabian did follow & try participate in some of the activities that were scheduled for the trip. My wife also shared that Fabian seems to enjoy himself more on pouring water back to the pond than to appreciate the fishes they caught which were put inside the container, this is the first time he has come close contact with the kampong fishes. With this experience, we will be able to predict his behavior and more confidently manage when we organize our own trip to bottle tree village at first opportunity near our area in the North. The pet show was another main highlight which the kids enjoyed very much but was told that Fabian demand for snack during the show and was re-directed to various teachers to practise his request before he followed agenda to have the snack after the show ended, I had a good laugh and feeling with joy when I heard my wife sharing with me on this, kudos to the trs and coach for making a frutiful ending to this wonderful trip.

Take this blessing to share some updates in our learning journey with our little STAR

Wall schedule- we had modified and align to new IEP goals & objectives and also lower the schedule board to let him interact as he transit to his next activity area.

Sound Therapy: He is on 3rd Cycle Disc 2 currently, show signs of singing & imitating a lot. Speaking more expressively with up to 7-10 words in sentence construction.

OT: Better body joint co-ordination, increase & varies his exercise routine more to promote interaction such as rolling, throwing, bouncing ball to each others on top of squatting, jumping, sit up, rolling and crawling.

Kindermuzik: "Imagine That" series in second week, enjoy greatly to elevate his social interaction, vocabulary and language skill . In-corporate see-saw, slides and swinging movement to daily exercise as well to improve co-ordination.

Literacy Skill: Sequence and recall, Spelling, Form sentences in relation with Who, What, Where, Why, Colour, Activities & Function. Introduce Vocab of daly items & Quiet reading to practise his receptive skill, regulation and joint attention. We are start expedite our teaching with him on animals-sound-home to generalize his learning and understanding on the subject of Animal.

ST: Fabian is able to tell in complete sentence picture flash cards for noun+verb+direct object in 6-7 words, he is now learning to form other sentences using series of 3 pictures linking together for (Noun+Prepositional Phrases+Verb), also get to expose to concept development on Bubbles, Slides, Water. Practise picture description to elevate his comprehension and expressive language. He is strong in understanding numbers, colour, where & shapes. We are working with him on saying more complete sentence other than yes or no. Eg "Fabian, are you tire?" He is expected to answer: "No, I am not tire" He is more expressive nowadays able to describe what we are doing at home. He also learns, sings & imitates a lot from watching disney playhouse channel, get more interested watching Teletubbies, Noddy VCD. Even sometime, he like to play pretend game as if he is the therapist talking to my wife and me or even teachers in child care center, we will try to listen and understand the explain or ask him more if we know what he says to let him recall why he is saying that. We also encourage Fabian to practise giving instruction to adult example during fixing of Mr Potato & vice versa. Eg Daddy, put on shoes Or Daddy take out shoe.

Numeric Skill: Working on number & identifying various money value, number word & spelling fr 1-5. Still focus on addition fr 1-10 with more worksheet provided to practise. able time telling for hourly, now proceed to half hourly or even quarterly. At home, aside from practise worksheet, we also ask him to turn to the time we tell him on the toy clock and also guide him to look at the clock and relate timing perspective with respect to the clock.

Child care center: Lead time to transit into the center has reduced compare to first 3 months, where he would usually sit outside to wait for ask for more time before entering the center. Now he is able to go straight in, and sometimes when I drive my wife and him to center I will drive up to the front of the center by the road to let him walk in straight to varies the drop off point, instead at the car park behind the center.

His weakest link is perhaps in the area of ART, we will continue to give him more opportunity to practise coloring, request for color, color within the line etc to improve him from time to time by integrating with some of our home programs for him.

It has been a great blessing that our Little STAR has come thus far and improving at every baby steps and opportunities that come along from the various service providers teachers.

Yesterday can be filled with regret that you won't let go of, or even past successes that you hang on tight to, or simply fond memories that make you smile. Tomorrow can be filled with I'll be happy when I accomplish x, y, z, or fear of the unknown, or excitement on all the possibilities that are ahead of you. Today brings new possibilities. Today brings new choices. Today brings new hope. Today brings the ability to appreciate where you've been, where you are now, and where you are going.

Winners Statement:-

"What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow. Our life is the creation of our mind."
~ Buddha

Sharing An Inspiration on the "7 Principles of an Eagle" ~By Author Dr. Myles Monroe

1. Eagles fly alone at a high altitude and not with sparrows or mix with other smaller birds. Birds of a feather flock together. No other bird goes to the height of the eagle. Eagles fly with eagles. Never in a flock. Even when Moses (Old Testament Bible) went to commune with God on the mountain, he left the crowd at the foothills. Stay away from sparrows and ravens. Eagles fly with eagles.

2. Eagles have strong vision, which focuses up to 5 kilometers from the air. When an eagle sites prey- even a rodent from this distance, he narrows his focus on it and sets out to get it. No matter the obstacle, the eagle will not move his focus from the prey until he grabs it. Have a vision and remain focused no matter what the obstacle and you will succeed.

3. Eagles do not eat dead things. He feeds on fresh prey. Vultures eat dead animals but not eagles. Steer clear of outdated and old information. Do your research well always.

4. The Eagle is the only bird that loves the storm. When clouds gather, the eagles get excited. The eagle uses the wings of the storm to rise and is pushed up higher. Once it finds the wing of the storm, the eagle stops flapping and uses the pressure of the raging storm to soar the clouds and glide. This gives the eagle an opportunity to rest its wings. In the meantime all the other birds hide in the leaves and branches of the trees. We can use the storms of our lives (obstacles, trouble, etc) to rise to greater heights. Achievers relish challenges and use them profitably.

5. The Eagle tests before it trusts. When a female eagle meets a male and they want to mate, she flies down to earth with the male pursing her and she picks a twig. She flies back into the air with the male pursuing her. Once she has reached a height high enough for her, she lets the twig fall to the ground and watches it as it falls. The male chases after the twig. The faster it falls, the faster he chases until he reaches it and has to catch it before it falls to the ground, then bring it back to the female eagle. The female eagle grabs the twig and flies to a much higher altitude pursued by the male until she perceives it high enough, and then drops the twig for the male to chase. This goes on for hours, with the height increasing until the female eagle is assured that the male eagle has mastered the art of picking the twig which shows commitment, then and only then, will she allow him to mate with her!
Whether in private life or in business, one should test commitment of people intended for partnership.

6. Eagles prepare for training. When about to lay eggs, the female and male eagle identify a place very high on a cliff where no predators can reach; the male flies to earth and picks thorns and lays them on the crevice of the cliff, then flies to earth again to collect twigs which he lays in the intended nest. He flies back to earth picks thorns and lays them on top of the twigs. He flies back to earth and picks soft grass to cover the thorns, and then flies back to pick rugs to put on the grass. When this first layering is complete the male eagle runs back to earth and picks more thorns, lays them on the nest; runs back to get grass and rugs and lays them on top of the thorns, then plucks his feathers to complete the nest. The thorns on the outside of the nest protect it from possible intruders. Both male and female eagles participate in raising the eagle family. She lays the eggs and protects them; he builds the nest and hunts. During the time of training the young ones to fly, the mother eagle throws the eaglets out of the nest and because they are scared, they jump into the nest again. Next, she throws them out and then takes off the soft layers of the nest, leaving the thorns bare. When the scared eaglets jump into the nest again, they are pricked by thorns. Shrieking and bleeding they jump out again this time wondering why the mother and father who love them so much are torturing them. Next, mother eagle pushes them off the cliff into the air. As they shriek in fear, father eagle flies out and picks them up on his back before they fall, and brings them back to the cliff. This goes on for sometime until they start flapping their wings. They get excited at this newfound knowledge that they can fly and not fall at such a fast rate. The father and mother eagle supports them with their wings.

The preparation of the nest teaches us to prepare for changes;
The preparation for the family teaches us that active participation of both partners leads to success;
The being pricked by the thorns tells us that sometimes being too comfortable where we are may result into our not experiencing life, not progressing and not learning at all. The thorns of life come to teach us that we need to grow, get out of the nest and love on. We may not know it but the seemingly comfortable and safe haven may have thorns;
The people who love us do not let us languish in sloth but push us hard to grow and prosper. Even in their seemingly bad actions they have good intentions for us.


7. When the Eagle grows old, his feathers become weak and cannot take him as fast as he should. When he feels weak and about to die, he retires to a place far away in the rocks. While there, he plucks out every feather on his body until he is completely bare. He stays in this hiding place until he has grown new feathers, then he can come out.

We occasionally need to shed off old habits & items that burden us without adding to our lives...

Winners Statement:-

"You cannot control what happen to you, but you can control the attitude towards what happens to you and in that, you will be mastering changes rather than allowing it to master you" ~Brian Tracy

Special Needs vs Mainstream School?

I had just attended an open house in sped school to have an insight and glimpse of what software was installed, understand that there are great many number of kids in waiting list. Some parents may prefer their kids to be in mainstream ater EIP, while others may be happy just to get a place in the sped school that can maximize the kids potential in learning, ultimately it is not the academic alone that determine the success of the child learning road map, but his/her life skill of independence are as important in the aspect of cognitive ability, functional communication and social integration with the community. Having the right learning environment and providing the necessary education plan for the kids to tailor to his/her needs are critical success factors. The hard part is that while the parents/care givers may be coping with a single profile on their kids in the spectrum, teachers and special educators have to cope to cater students within the range of spectrum with multiple profiles. Putting things in right perspective base on mutual trust and learning, to encourage & motivate each others along can help to optimize the outcome in learning.

I happened to read an article on the subject a month ago from a speech pathologist and hence will like to take this blessing to share in my blog post:-
--------------------
Start Of Sharing
--------------------
Parents often ask the question…
“Would a mainstream preschool or school be suitable for my child?”

To be honest with you there is an incredible amount to consider when answering this question and of course all children with autism are very different. So I’d like to give you some advice to help when you are making this decision…

1. Your child’s happiness is of utmost importance! So if being in a mainstream school allows your child to be calm and happy and be supported in a safe and nurturing environment, then this is wonderful! A lot of children with autism experience high levels of anxiety so this is very important to consider when finding the right setting for your child to thrive in. If your child is unhappy and on edge then they will most likely be in ‘survival mode’ for most of the day and will not get anything out of their day… just unhappiness.

2. Will your child ‘thrive’ in a mainstream environment? Is the teaching pitched at the right level for your child? The last thing you want is for your child to be getting very little out of their day and slowing down the rate of their development. If the teaching is pitched at a level that is too difficult for your child then you might find that they are only learning 1-2% of their day… and that’s a pretty scary thought!

3. Children with ASD often find it very difficult to shift their attention from what they are doing to what a teacher or a peer would like them to be involved in. This is very much related to their challenges with joint attention. If this is the case for your child then possibly a more structured and specialised environment that incorporates the use of visuals and other specific teaching strategies could be far more effective your child.

4. It is important to remember that cognitive and academic skill advancements should NOT be the only focus of your child’s schooling. School/preschool is also a valuable environment for the development of ‘meaningful’ peer relationships and improving skills that will help your child function more ‘effectively’ and practically in their day to day environment. Please consider which type of schooling will help support this, because at the end of the day social and emotional intelligence is what will help your child live a happy and fulfilled life.

5. Finding a setting where the staff understand autism and the importance of getting to know the ‘individual differences’ of your child is critical. In saying this I have also consulted to mainstream settings where the staff know very little about ASD but they have a real willingness to learn and are incredibly motivated to help the child as best as they can. This passion counts for a lot! Each preschool and school are very different so it is critical that you do your homework and shop around.

6. Many people underestimate what a child needs to be able to ‘comprehend’ to keep up in the classroom The conversations and topics that are discussed can be quite complex and abstract. I went to see one of my 5 year old clients at school a few months ago and the children were expected to be able to look around the playground and tell the teacher what was ‘man made/artificial’ and what was ‘natural’. This kind of activity is extremely challenging for a child with autism who has difficulty understanding and interpreting the world around them!
------------------
End Of Sharing
------------------

Teaching a child with ASD requires a different perspective, flexibility and creativity, and constant learning on our part and the rest of the staff within the special education team who see him. We are all not perfect but nevertheless, situation can be improved and compensated with effective communication and close collaborative partnership. While the parents very often are contacted about problem, Teacher's role in this communication to relay knowledge and recommendation to parents are as important, parents need to hear some success stories too from the teachers. Kudos to all the SPED professionals for doing great work in continuous improvement for the future of these special community.

Winner's Statement:-

"Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart."~ Kahlil Gibran

Term 3 Outing 1- Visit To The Zoo (9 July '10)

The success of this zoo outing gave me an opportunity to appreciate the great work & worth while effort that have been put up by teachers over the past year and a half in EIP, be it 3 months, 9 months or more since we first cross path. I had not failed to attend any outing in the past terms but was not able to attend this time round due to work commitment, nevertheless still rejoiced and delighted to know that our little STAR was having a great fun & enjoyable time watching the animals and show performance.

Just recalled the first outing we attended with Fabian back in 2009 Term 1 which was also the zoo outing, my wife and I were just new parents of a child with ASD then, nevertheless we just go about preparing what we think is best for his learning having little knowledge on the challenge that was about to surface due to his unique learning and behavior characteristic.

Back then, resource use was very little as we do not yet equip ourselves enough to maximize our teaching for Fabian at home to ready him. I did the animal fresh cards and using physical object to associate, but Fabian was at concrete level & non verbal, attention from him was still very poor. We can only hope for the best to manage success.

On the actual day, after teacher briefing, we experience the first challenge from Fabian, he became anxious and start to escalate as everyone starts to board the bus. He would start crying and screaming, so I had to drive him there instead, his perspective thinking and rigidity to change is lacking then, his non-verbal had also added more challenges to his behavior.

During the zoo outing, Fabian had to be carried most of the time as he still very much in his own agenda, schedule was simple and using stickers to mark off at every transition point. Snack time was when we practised his request.

Nevertheless, we were glad and delighted to have achieved objectives to his learning in general.

This year term 3 outing to zoo also enble the teachers who had taken Fabian in the past, to acertain some improvement Vs 2009, that he is very much regulated though behavior challenge still exist where we least expected at times, at least he is motivated to take the bus with the group and able to follow others agenda in walking. He is more verbal, able to identify & associate with the animal better, able to be more expressive in describing some of the animal features in simple sentences. He is much more aware of his teachers & peers now taking photos together or walking hand in hand along the trip. His perspective thinking of zoo has also improved greatly.

The results observed are external, I must acknowledge that internally, the teachers all must had put in great effort behind the scene to ready the outing & maximize positive outcome. Back at home, we are much more resourceful now when teaching Fabian to ready for this zoo trip.

We used a big picture book to walk through with him At The Zoo, using L-R, T-B sequencing to tell the animal name. We had even took out 2 animal puzzle piece sets to let him Work By Myself. To train his expressive language, we use picture card pairing with sentence matching. Photo animal cards and spelling also help him to associate the word with the animals. Physical objects also use in recalling with him after the zoo trip and also we have dedicated a home program for painting/coloring today. Will do another round on Sunday for the rest of the animal pictures we brought home from the trip.

The 2 goals set were mostly achieved with prompt 5 and at the end of the outing, Fabian & Mummy brought home with them some wonderful memories & great learning experience towards more independence.

Thankful to Teachers who were leading the various children groups for the good guidance & great support on this outing trip. At the end of the day, every child is a winner having brought back with them some invaluable great learning experiences from the visit to the zoo.

Winners Statement:-
"We are at our very best, and we are happiest, when we are fully engaged in work we enjoy on

the journey toward the goal we've established for ourselves. It gives meaning to our time off and

comfort to our sleep. It makes everything else in life so wonderful, so worthwhile." ~ Earl Nightingale

Sharing An Overview Of Learning & Behavior Challenges Often Found In Children With ASD

Challenging Behavior

Child with ASD often seem to march to the beat of their own drummer. What motivates them, please them, and what interests them can be different from other children. Pleasing the teachers, defying the teachers, impressing other children, mastering new skills, pleasing their parents- these fundamental motivations are not necessarily lacking but may be less pressing in children with ASD. Instead, other motivations may be more pressing, such as being allowed to do their preferred repetitive activities, talking about their favourite subject, or avoiding unpleasant sensor stimulation. In the midst of all these challenges, the child with ASD often has to work extra hard to do what may come easily to the other children. Each child with ASD are also unique by himself/herself, what comes easy for one child with ASD may be slight hard or very hard to another child within this spectrum. Anything involve complex language is likely to require additonal concentration and mental effort in a child who already may be challenged in the area of sustained attention. Is it any wonder, given all these factors, that they may sometimes become noncomplaint, irritable, or shut down and withdrawn? But all is not lost or hopeless if we know how to take steps to troubleshoot their behavior, in helping them to learn more effectively.

Difficulties with attention is one of the most frequently reported problems for children with ASD in the classroom, understanding the attention deficits will help you to intervene in a way that has the best possible chance of working. A good way to describe the attention of a child with ASD is that he has trouble managing it. In other words, he may have difficulty putting his/her attention where it needs to be, he/she may have trouble sustaining his attention or sticking with something once he has started to pay attention to. He/She may have trouble selecting out the important things to pay attention to. He/She may have trouble shifting or moving her attention from one thing to another, or he/she may shift his attention to the new thing, only to derail and move his attention back to something that is more important for her(his own preoccupations, or the last thing he was doing). The description above offers many hypothesis in any behevior problem that hinder join attention.

Having said that, we can perhaps evaluate and analyse the problem behavior by first examine the behavior and then seek to identify the function served by the behavior using this ABC principles of Behavior Analysis:-

1) What are the "A"ntecedents(what comes before the behavior)?
They are analyzed for precipitating factors Eg. what activity or task ...
2) What is the "B"ehavior itself? Mood swing, throwihng tantrum, screaming, melt down, covering ears, flapping/flcikering hands etc...
3) What are the "C"onsequences(what comes after the behavior and may be serving to reinforce and maintain it)? Eg Losing interest & attention, not following agenda etc...

Determining the cause of behavior is critical to developing an effective intervention strategy. It will then allow you to develop appropriate modification to task demands, so we can achieve a win win outcome and help the child cope better into acheieving the goals.

Cognitive Strength & Weakness

Various Aspect Of Learning Challenges & Definitions:-

Language
Phonology – Structural aspect of language, refers to speech sound of language
Ability of a child to discriminate among the sounds that others are making when they are speaking and can she produce the sounds consisently and understandably

Syntax- Grammar
Using and understand word ends and using and understanding correct word order

Prosody- refers to melody of our speech-pitch,volume and rate changes that carry meaning and information, universal impairement a among child with ASD who usually speak with flat monotone

Semantics- refers to meaning of words, relationships among concepts
Ability to reason about the concept , comprehend the meaning in a general way. Child with ASD may lack or misuse of mental state verb such as “think”, “expect”, “hope”, “remember”.

Discourse- refers to ability to put together a higher level of connected speech, such as telling a story. Basic “WH” question is a challenge, Who, What & where are easier with photo level representation as visual aid to help child understand but the more abstract one like When, Why & How will be expected from their level of vocabulary.
Often learn language in a formular way like as a whole chunks rather than putting together new sentences with new words to means new thing

Pragmatics- refer to social use of language which includes analysis of speech acts or functions including things like greeting, commenting, asking questions, answering question, agreeing, requesting, protesting.
Child with ASD use their language more to regulate their environment than to be social.

Written language
Usually their strength in the area of decoding what they read & even spelling
The lack of fine motor skill may be hinderance to their ability to understand what they read and mechanics of writing what they want to say.

In summary, child with ASD has persistent problem with structural aspect of language, they may do well in concrete language but have increasing difficulty as the language becomes more complex, hierarchically organized, abstract or inferential.

Memory
Visual memory- area of strength
Memory for music is sometimes a real talent in children with ASD
Memory for verbal material can be quite difficult, for eg they do not use frame work of the story to help them remember details, but instead remember details in the story as if they were unrelated bits of information.
Sometimes they may show extraordinary memories for certain type of material in particular events and facts in great details. But yet there can be impersonal quality to these memories, as though the child is remembering facts and not recollecting a personal event. And the same child can have trouble remembering something you thought he had learn yesterday. Probably something to do with attention, with what the child consider as important, interesting or easy to remember. The challenge is then in finding a way to make the unusual ability useful in the real world.

Attention-child with ASD have a striking disconnection between their ability to attend to preferred topics or activities(where attention span could be relatively long) and their ability(desire) to attend to non-preferred activities.
-Motivation is crucial in helping them optimize their attention when performing task which they may not intrinsically interested/enjoy.
-Make material as interesting as possible, keep requirements for sustain attention a reasonable level and use external reinforcers as necessary(not necessary candy, but checks list, stickers, opportunities to earn a preferred object or activity)
Some help to focus child attention includes:-
-Using hands on activities
-Relating the material to subjects of interest to the child
-Giving imtermittent brief motor break(running an errand, erase board)
-Anticipating a simple quiz with opportunities to earn powerful reinforcer for good performance.

Executive Function-refers to cognitive and decision making activities just like an head of a organization include processes as:-
- organizing task in proper sequence
- suppressing inappropriate or irrelevant response/distraction
- Keep attention to the task in hand
- Putting forth mental effort or concentration on a task over a sustained time/duration
- Initiating problem solving activities/request for help
- Holding one part of information in mind while working on another so the two can put together at the end
- Calling to mind previously learned information without any cues or prompts
- Working for reward that is in the future instead of doing what brings immediate gratification
Most of these functions depend heavily on the frontal lobes of the brain, and depending on the age and intellectual capacity of the child, our job is to serve as the child frontal lobes(helping her to organize and inhibit by setting up external structure) or to help her develop strategies to do these things for himself.

Visual spatial skill-refers to skill that require you to perceive basic visual element(shapes, colors,movements) as well as relationships among them. In additional with motor component such as cutting out shape, copy words or designs, quickly moving pegs fr one hole to another, completing puzzle,hitting a ball.

Social Cognition-refers to understanding the social world
-Ability of a child to grasp what others are feeling, understand why they feel and behave as they do, and understand what is the expected of him.
Components include:-
Processing faces
-only recognize exaggerated expression of emotion to happiness, fear,sadness or anger.
- focus on unusual aspect of the picture such as hairline or mouth or an object in the back ground,rather than scanning the character’s eye for clues to their emotions and reaction.

Empathy- understanding and recognizing his own and other emotion with correct response. If a child may understand someone’s else emotion, he may not respond automatically with the correct response. Eg teacher suddenly has bleeding from nose, he may smile to response to his empathy rather than feeling shock and scare.
-Need to help her recognize and label his own emotion in relationship to child capacity for empathy.

Theory Of Mind- refers to the understanding we have of others’s mind, very often this is absence in child with ASD where they perceive and take it/response literally as what he perceive and not thinking about what others may think differently from the situation.

Friendship- children with ASD often have immature and oversimplified notions of friendship.
They may think that anyone they know or have played with once is a friend, not understanding that true friendships prefer each other because of common interests, feel positive emotion when interacting and share special bonds of confidence and trust.
- duties of parents and trs to cooperate in picking some likely children who share specific interest with the child to seek friendship
- need coaching in group interaction for turns taking, social rules reinforcement

Motor Skill – may be clumsy and uncoordinated with fine motor skill resulting in poor hand writing, coloring and drawing and manipulating objects in hands on lesson

Splinter Skill-area of ability that are above what the child can do in other areas
-Special talent
- some children can use written words or sentence as a gateway for communication.

Hope this sharing can create a good initial insights into understand children with ASD. Every child within this spectrum is unique, and hence has different need. Knowing more to understand individual needs of the child will help each parents, caregivers, teachers & therapist to cope better in managing the best outcome.

Winners Statement:-

"A hug is a smile with arms, a laugh with a stronger grip." ~ Terri Guillemets

Sharing Of An Article Post On How to Be a Friend to An Autistic Person

Taking this blessing for new Term opening to share an article I read during the June holidays, hope they are useful for those who walk and advocate on a similar learning journey, be they parents, family members, friends, care givers, educators or therapists.

People with autism may have a difficult time making friends or being one, for the fact that most of them have limited social skills, which makes it hard for them to relate to others or be a friend. In addition, many have not been taught social and communication skills or how to relate to them. Because of these difficulties that autistic people may experience, the question is, how can you be a friend to them?

* I believe it is imperative that you must be a friend to yourself first. This is accomplished by understanding yourself and nurturing yourself as you grow.

* To be a friend to an autistic person, you want to become strength to him or her. This is done by encouraging the autistic individual, not by putting them down with criticism, which will cause discouragement and low self-esteem.

* Many individuals with autism have difficult behaviors, because of their various levels of the disorder which creates numerous challenges. This may vary according to their age and environment. Be patient with the person with the disorder of autism and let him or her know you do care about them and want to be their friend. Be on common ground with them.

* It is important for you as parent(s), caregiver(s) to become sensitive to the disorder of autism. Practice companionship. Sometimes it is wise not to talk at times but be silent, listen to what the person is communicating or trying to say. I have learned, there are times when the wrong words or not using the right words can destroy friendships that are in its embryo stage.

* To be a friend to an autistic person, is to try to overlook his or her faults and understand that he or she is overcoming their weaknesses, as you are overcoming yours. Be patient with the person and let him or her know you do care about them and want to be their friend. Be on common ground with them.

* I have learned, not to attempt to change or find fault with people who have the disorder of autism, but make them comfortable with your presence, give them time to get to know you. Be tolerant of these individuals and have an understanding with a forgiving heart.

* Autistic individuals are people who want and need friends just as people who do not have the disorder. They want to belong, feel accepted and loved. They may have difficulties socializing or communicating, but you can discover how to be friends with them and continue to grow with them.

* Another way to be a friend to a person who has autism, find out what their likes and dislikes are. If the person enjoys lunch, take him or her to a restaurant that will be enjoyable. If sports is an enjoyment, take the person to a baseball game or watch it with them in a park or on television. Be creative, find out what the person wants to do, what he or she likes, and enjoy it with them. You can also make new suggestions and create new ideas.

* Send an autistic person a card in the mail with encouraging words on it, or a letter to say you are thinking about the person and you care. This can be done once a week or whenever there is a special occasion or just for fun.

* Bring the individual some treats, home made cookies, or candy. Many autistic children will appreciate balloons, so will adults as a gesture to be friends with the person. Use your imagination, and you will discover that making a friend with a person who has autism will be rewarding.

Winners Statement:-
When you are in a challenging situation, I encourage you to think of that little engine who didn't give up. He/She didn't complain and say why me. He/She didn't lose faith. He/She didn't stop and fall down the hill. He/She continued along his/her journey until he/she found the right resources to help him/her along her path. The right resources could be one of you, who may make a great impact in his/her learning & growing up so as to manage future independence better.